We are jumping up and down with excitement about the announcement of the Premier League fixtures!
Yes! It is the day we have all been waiting for. It has been at least a month since the Premier League finished albeit way longer since Manchester City made it perfectly clear they intended to win the title at a canter. Ever since the final whistle on the final day, all football fans have been looking forward to this. Eh? The World Cup? God no. We are jumping up and down with excitement about the announcement of the Premier League fixtures!
Except, we are not. Not even a little bit.
Today is the first day of the World Cup which, even if you don't have the sodding rights to it Sky, should be the main event on your poxy little TV channel today. I accept, Russia vs Saudi Arabia is not going to get everyone bouncing around as much as Spain vs Portugal tomorrow, but still. It's the World Cup. It carries a little more sway than the fact that we find out who the new Arsenal manager gets to lose to on the opening day (Manchester City I believe) or where Neil Warnock gets to take his tractor in Cardiff's return to the top flight.
What is it with the excitement about a load of fixtures being announced?
OK, if I were a Cardiff City fan I guess I would be interested in seeing who we had first game of the season and I might have a little look to see what our run-in might be like, presuming we are going to need a bucket-load of points to stay up. If I am a Liverpool fan I might see when we are playing Manchester United or Everton. There might well be a few fixtures that every fan is interested in.
But a whole morning of coverage on Sky News? 1.2m tweets on the subject over the course of the morning?
Can we not still spend just a little bit more time pointing and laughing at Spain? I mean, 24 hours have not even elapsed yet - do we need distracting again just yet?
Clearly we do, because this is modern football. This is the Premier League. Nothing is allowed to overshadow it for more than 5 minutes otherwise Sky's share price might start to dip or, worse, the Premier League itself might not be able to squeeze another billion out of someone like Amazon next time some family silver needs to be sold.
The really sad thing is, and yes I am still going on about this, that there was no clever social media reveal. No cool GIFs. No famous people announcing it. Christ, there wasn't even Robbie Williams. They just put it out there. Why? Because they know they don't have to make any effort nowadays. People are brainwashed enough that the Premier League just has to click it's fingers.
Watch out for their next announcement early next week, which will be what the league table looks like right now.
Sky are dedicating the morning of the England game to it.